Skip began writing the book when his oldest daughter, Destiney, became pregnant with Skip and Teresa’s first grandchild. Skip recounts, “There are so many things Teresa and I learned over the years while raising our 6 children. Many of the things we learned by child number four or five, I wish we knew back when we had child number one and two. I wanted to give my daughter, and any parent who reads this book, a head start on figuring out this whole parenting thing.”
Skip and Teresa raised all their kids right here in Navarre. All ventured away from home right out of high school, each taking a different path. The youngest left the house in 2019 when he joined the military. Today, they are all successfully pursuing their chosen fields and Skip and Teresa enjoy a close bond with each one of them, which Skip says is the ultimate goal in parenting. “Everything we do as parents, from the time our children are infants, should be done with the intention of empowering them to grow up to be self-sufficient, to reach their full potential, and then enjoy a peer-to-peer relationship with them as adults.”
Each chapter in Letters to Destiney is a personal letter from Skip to his daughter giving a specific bit of advice on being a parent.
For example, in chapter 5 one of the parenting concepts Skip talks about in his book is called the parenting in the funnel. The idea is that the control you exercise over your children should be tight in their younger years and then gradually broaden as they get older, like a funnel. Skip says the natural tendency is for parents to do just the opposite, they allow their toddlers a lot of freedom but place tight restrictions on their teens. “Teen years are when your kids need to start developing decision making skills. And the only way to do that, is to allow them the freedom to make decisions on their own. Some will be good. Some will be bad. However, the bad decisions will also create opportunities to coach them on how to overcome setbacks and solve problems.” Skip says the goal in parenting is not to prevent your kids from ever making a mistake, but to equip them with the skills and attitude to recover from mistakes when they are made.
Another thing the book emphasizes is prioritizing the relational bond you have with your child. Relationship is what enables parents to have influence in their children’s lives when they grow into the teen years and beyond. As children mature into their teen years, a parent’s role transitions from telling their child on what they can and cannot do, to coaching and influencing their child on making right decisions for themselves. If the relational bond between parent and child becomes damaged, the parent’s ability to guide and influence their child as they get older is greatly diminished. The book talks about how to keep that relational bond strong.
Other topics covered in the book include how to get your child to obey you the first time you ask them to do something, the technique Teresa used to keep all the kids under control while taking them to the grocery store, how to pass on your faith and values to your kids and much more.
If you would like a free copy of Letters To Destiney, A Father’s Advice for Successful Parenting, you can drop by Father and Son Pest And Lawn Solutions at 8373 East Bay Blvd in Navarre Monday through Thursday between 8 a.m. and 5 p.m. and Fridays between 8 a.m. and noon and ask for a copy. If you live outside Navarre, you can call 850-939-9868 and request a copy and Skip will be happy to send you one. Skip doesn’t charge anything for his books. He says writing books and giving them away is his way of giving back.
The other four books Skip has written include:
• Letters To Judah, A Father’s Advice For Successful Living
• If I Could Talk To You About Human Trafficking This Is What I Would Say
• The Ultimate Guide To Building A Million Dollar Pest And Lawn Service Business
• What Every Homeowner On The Emerald Coast Needs To Know About Lawn Care
All of Skip’s book are available free of charge by stopping by his office or calling and requesting one.